Just in time for the Oscars, I have compiled this definitive ranking of the movies I watched this season. (And none for Joker and The Irishman. Bye.)
33. The Addams Family. I generally prefer to skip animated movies and had no business seeing this, but my friend wanted to go. I mostly napped during the second half.
32. Someone Great. Really did not connect with this portrayal of female friendship. Why were these characters so grating?
31. Blinded by the Light. This Springsteen fan story feels like it should be a human interest piece in Parade Magazine.
30. Last Christmas. Sometimes you so desperately want to love something but it’s just determined to disappoint you.
29. The Knight Before Christmas. This movie is objectively terrible, but I still enjoyed it. I fully support the Vanessa Hudgens Christmas cinematic universe.
28. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Somehow I was both repulsed and bored by this movie. My favorite scene was the one where Brad Pitt feeds his dog and then makes mac and cheese for himself. I don’t like dogs or mac and cheese.
27. Isn’t It Romantic. Forgettable but occasionally charming. I liked that they ate soup dumplings in that one scene.
26. Ad Astra. Deeply boring, but in kind of a soothing “just stare at Brad Pitt for 2 hours” way.
25. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. As a die hard Star Wars fan, this was wholly unsatisfying. But Adam Driver acted his socks off during this entire trilogy and for that we stan.
24. Zombieland: Double Tap. Not as fresh as the original, but still amusing.
23. Charlie’s Angels. I desperately want to be Kristen Stewart in this movie.
22. Ford v. Ferrari. For some reason I was very sleepy while watching this and may have dozed off in the middle. No matter, Christian Bale was engaging as always.
21. Captain Marvel. Solid action movie that made me immediately google Brie Larson’s trainer.
20. Chasing Happiness. That scene when Joe and Nick tell Kevin that they thought he was holding them back, I felt that like an actual punch in the gut.
19. Late Night. A good movie that, had it taken more risks, could have been great.
18. Always Be My Maybe. Sweet and hilarious. I keep forgetting to rewatch this.
17. Jojo Rabbit. I’m not sure the world needed this story about a young Hitler aficionado, but it’s a charming movie nevertheless.
16. Just Mercy. A quiet, moving film with immense integrity. Michael B. Jordan should play more roles like this.
15. Frozen 2. More forgettable than the original, but still very solid. Bonus points for the line “You are the one you’ve been waiting for”---chills.
14. Let It Snow. This delightfully blends the Christmas movie, the high school movie, and several of the very best fanfiction tropes.
13. Plus One. I was obsessed with this movie the day I watched it. A well-written, well-acted romantic comedy that never pretends to be anything else---more, please.
12. Jumanji: The Next Level. I’m not exactly sure how these movies are so funny, but I think this was the hardest I laughed all year.
11. Knives Out. I liked this movie, but I loved that it’s an original screenplay that’s grossed almost $300 million. That combination of artistic and commercial success has become so rare these days. (Of course, they’re making a sequel.)
10. Booksmart. Hilarious and occasionally poignant, these ladies killed it. More movies written, directed and starring women, please.
9. Bombshell. Anchored by a badass performance by Charlize Theron, I found this movie entertaining and deeply satisfying.
8. Avengers: Endgame. In a year of disappointing franchise endings (e.g. Game of Thrones, Star Wars), Marvel absolutely pulled it off. Endgame was grand and ambitious, but never lost sight of the heart that made these movies special.
7. The Farewell. It was so special to see an authentic portrayal of the Chinese-American experience on the big screen. I was admittedly distracted by Awkwafina’s accent, but overall, she killed it. I can’t wait to see what Lulu Wang does next.
6. 1917. Unlike Birdman, I really enjoyed the execution of the single shot concept here. Although this isn’t the deepest of stories, the film is very well-crafted and I was totally immersed.
5. Little Women. The rare film that I enjoyed much more upon a second viewing. While Lady Bird is a tightly edited masterpiece, Greta Gerwig’s second film feels much more like poetry, taking its time to burrow its way your heart.
4. Spider-Man: Far From Home. I could spend all day hanging out with Peter Parker and friends. The Spider-Man/Mysterio’s action sequences were visually stunning as well.
3. Hustlers. YES to the female gaze. I’ve never been in a strip club but somehow this movie made me feel seen. Also, the scene when Usher shows up and “Love in this Club” plays was pure euphoria.
2. Marriage Story. A perfect depiction of love, loss and being alive. The final 10 minutes are my favorite of the year.
1. Parasite. A work of genius and the best picture produced in several years. To the Academy: You know what to do.
