A Beginner's Guide to ASMR

It's hard to describe ASMR (Autonomous sensory meridian response) as a sensory phenomenon, but for the sake of this post I'll refer to it as a genre of YouTube videos in which creators ("ASMRtists") use various audio and visual stimuli ("triggers") to create a pleasant "tingly" sensation, usually along your head/scalp. ASMR seems to generate one of two responses in people: either 1) you get it and you love it, or 2) you don't get it and you think it's really weird. I fall in the former camp, as I find it very soothing with or without the head tingles, particularly as a way to wind down before bed. So, if you have ever felt a passing interest in exploring ASMR, here's a guide from me to you.

A quick note before we begin: a lot of creators will recommend listening with headphones for the best experience. I find that playing videos on my phone works just fine, but playing them on speakers (linked up to my computer) gets a bit too intense. 

Start with: Celebrity ASMR Interviews

A good entry point into ASMR are interviews with celebrities who, like you, typically don't really understand ASMR but have been asked to give it a go while talking about themselves (their favorite hobby). W Magazine has a great collection of celebrities experimenting with ASMR, to various degrees of success. 

• The best versions of these are when celebs take ASMR seriously, such as Kate Hudson for W, Gillian Anderson for Netflix, and Cardi B for W. Cardi B's video, pictured above, is arguably the most successful one out there, as you can see from its 39 million views, because she herself is an ASMR fan and actually knows what she's doing in the video. 
• The worst versions of these are when the celeb acts like ASMR is completely stupid or beneath them (e.g., Jake Gyllenhaal for W). 
• A milder but semi-annoying variant of this is when the celeb plays along but clearly doesn't get ASMR, as demonstrated by their giggling their whole time and commenting on how "silly" they feel (e.g., Gal Gadot for W).

You think you might like ASMR? Now try: 

Now we're going to have you explore ASMR by ASMRtists, i.e., non-famous creators who treat ASMR as a craft. It sounds like I'm mocking them but actually I like that they take it seriously. My favorite creator is ASMR blossom, but I also enjoy Slight Sounds ASMR and Made In France ASMR. There are a million different sound triggers to check out, including: 

• Classic sounds, e.g., crinkling of paper/plastic; tapping/scratching of wood; handling objects such as a leather pouch or a wooden hairbrush
• Talking sounds, which vary from mouth sounds to inaudible whispering to repeated words. Most ASMR creators are women, as you might guess, but there are definitely male voices out there too if that makes a difference.
• Visual stimuli, e.g., face touching (the creator strokes the camera with their finger... yes I swear this is non-sexual) or neck/back massage (get ready to feel very jealous)
• Mukbang, or eating sounds. I don't personally like this so I won't link to anything, but this is very popular and there are whole channels devoted to this.
• Mic brushing, where the creator uses a makeup brush or their fingers to tap, scratch, brush, or in some other way touch their microphone such that it sounds like your ears are being scratched. It's a bit intense for me but again, some people really like it.
• Most ASMR is very slow/deliberate but I like some fast/aggressive variants, where the creator might do some high-paced tapping, snapping, etc. 

To figure out what sounds you like most, I recommend watching a video such as this which has a lot of triggers in a short amount of time. 12 minutes seems like a long time but with 100 triggers, that works about to 7-8 seconds each. You might find that you really like the sound of glass being tapped but hate the sound of foam being scratched. It's obviously very subjective and personal, and as the good people of Reddit say, YMMV--your mileage may vary. 

I think you're ready for advanced ASMR: 

Now that you're cool with basic ASMR sounds, you're ready to graduate to... roleplay videos. Yes, this sounds sexual but once again, it's not. Personally, I enjoy those crinkling and tapping sounds, but after anywhere from 15-50 minutes of tapping (yes, some videos really are that long or longer), you tend to want something different. I've found that I really like roleplay videos where the creator talks to you and pretends to act something out, whether that's giving you a haircut (I like the metal cutting sounds) or administering an eye exam (no, it's not remotely medically accurate, but that's fine).

Get ready to feel very relaxed! Enjoy!

Beautiful British Voices and Disemboweling Twilight

For me, few things in the world are as enjoyable to hear as a British person's voice. Let us be honest here: with their lack of diphthongs, relaxed r's, and crisp intonation, your average Brit could recite the lyrics to "Black and Yellow" and make it sound like an e.e. cummings poem (Sorry, Saurus; I know you love him, but this is how potent their accent is).

This is probably why I am subscribed to so many British Youtubers.

Among my favorites is Alex Day, aka Nerimon. He is best friends/roommates with perhaps the most famous British Youtuber, the divinely adorable and nerdy Charlieissocoollike, and one of Alex's claims to fame is this glorious contribution to the online video sharing community:



What better way to spend 4 minutes in a video mercilessly picking apart every tragic aspect of Twilight's plot, characters, and delivery? As a former disciple of the United Church of Cullen (because I really had nothing better to do in 9th and 10th grade), I know the books front and back. I reread them each at least seven or eight times; I read about a chapter or two a day, on average, for an entire year until the fourth book came out and ruined the entire series for me. I then acquired a life, but that's a different story. As a stickler for grammar who willfully overlooked many of Stephenie Meyer's rather pitiful and awkward attempts at sentence structure ("Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week" reminds me of this meme), this video series was a godsend, all religious connotation intended.

Thank you, Alex Day, for helping me reclaim my soul and acquire a social life that did not include Cheetos and an abused paperback copy of a book that uses the word "dazzle" more than any Broadway score or drag queen memoir.

Hooray for wits, and hooray for Brits!